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How About a Heuristic
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Don't
Like Rules? How About a Heuristic
Originally published as:
Buddha in Combat Boots
Where the mundane & the mystical meet!
Vol 1, No 3 | December 21, 2004
I originally thought to call this piece "Some Rules to Live By," but two problems came up. The first one is that it's a really boring title. The second one is that I don't like rules. Here's the difference between a rule and a heuristic: A rule (from the Latin regere, to lead straight) is something to keep us straight or right, to reign over us or reign us in (the noun form of regere is rex, king). Excellent for preventing traffic accidents, yes, but not so great for creating an exciting life. On the other hand, a heuristic (from the Greek heuriskein, to discover) is something to help us learn or discover, used in "problem-solving by experimental and especially trial-and-error methods." Well, if that isn't a good description of life, I don't know what is. A further etymological note says, "akin to Old Irish fuar I have found."*
Along my journey toward becoming a modern urban mystic, I've encountered some pretty strange and mysterious experiences. It has required that I sometimes face the feeling that I was going completely out of my mind. And I don't mean the times that I really was going out of my mind, I mean the times when there were odd happenings that required me to re-evaluate my understanding of how things work. To redirect my energy away from self-doubt, I had to develop a framework in which to operate when the going got weird. This has worked so well for me that I wanted to share it around.
Whatever the situation, I always start with the heuristic I call my "failsafe," a quick way to sort out what can often be conflicting thoughts floating around inside the gray matter. Here it is:
If the voice is telling you, "You're bad," "someone else is bad," "hurt yourself," or "hurt someone else," it is the wrong voice. Don't listen to it! If the voice is telling you, "You're fine," "life is a process," "you're doing your best," "everyone else is doing their best," or any other supportive or uplifting message, that's the right voice. Listen to it!
I call this my failsafe because it keeps me from being a danger to self or others. So it doesn't really matter if I'm sane. (Keep in mind that I developed this failsafe during times when I wondered if I might be going nuts, and it's meant to handle what might be regarded as the worst-case scenario, hearing voices. It could as easily be stated, "If the thought is telling you…," but I didn't find that as funny, or as comforting.) As it reassures me that I needn't question my sanity at every step, it gives me freedom to act in ways that may be unfamiliar or seemingly illogical. This is particularly handy when I'm trying to access guidance from my guides/guardian angels/higher self/the divine and the information is falling outside my own store of knowledge and/or comfort zone. Furthermore, a person just can't learn, grow, and change without doing new (thus, unfamiliar) stuff.
Also, it reminds me that my guides normally speak to me in terms of what would be joyful, delightful, helpful, or fun. In late 2003, my cat was dying of cancer. I prayed for weeks that I could be with her when she finally passed. When the day came, and I was about to leave the house, my guides didn't yell, "Don't go! You'll miss it!" They sent me a thought about working on my web site, along with the warmest feeling you can imagine, what I would translate as, "Wouldn't it be wonderful to work on your web site right now." I was leaving for work and already had my jacket on and my purse in hand. Sitting down to work on the web site made no logical sense at that moment. But I recognized that warm, almost glowing, feeling. So I sort of shook my head and said, "Well fine, I guess I'll just sit here and work on the web site." That went well, as it happens, and I did get something done that I had been having trouble with for weeks. More importantly, though, my cat died about 25 minutes later, and I was at her side when it happened. I was able to be with her because I had followed my guidance instead of my logic.
The corollary heuristic, then, is, "Focus on your desired outcome." I have to say, this one has been tougher for me to follow than the failsafe. (I guess that means the failsafe is working.) And, I would say this is where the rubber meets the road. The failsafe is receptive ("what is the voice telling me?") and pretty much just requires that I follow instructions. The corollary is active. It requires that I make my own instructions, or at least pick a direction to go.
The day after I got my motorcycle license, I took a spin on a friend's motorcycle and got into a single-vehicle accident. The problem? I was nervous because it was a different, much larger bike than the one I learned on and left turns were causing me trouble. Among the major points the instructors had made over my two-day training was look where you want the motorcycle to go. In my anxiety about the size of the motorcycle, I completely forgot that and kept looking at the curb that I didn't want to run into. And guess what? The motorcycle went right where I was looking, right into the curb.
I use this negative example (ie, I looked where I was afraid to go and got what I feared) to illustrate a point. Life will give us plenty of options for focusing our attention. It is up to each of us to choose a focal point. Indeed, we do it every day, whether we realize it or not.
So here's the really exciting part about this focus business: You can change your focus any time you want! And that's the happy ending to my motorcycle story. I didn't ride for several months following the accident, first because I was injured and later because of Minnesotan winter weather. But I didn't stew on the injury and the possibility of future accidents. I used that time to practice putting my focus on where I wanted to go. Making left turns in my car, I would intentionally turn my whole head to face left and repeat, "Look where you want to go." I took it metaphorically, too, examining where in my life I was focusing on my anxieties instead of my desires. (That part is definitely what you would call an ongoing process.)
Was I nervous the following spring when I got on a bike for my first ride? You bet. However, my mantra wasn't, "Please don't crash." (Focus on the fear.) It was, of course, "Look where you want the bike to go." And guess what? It still goes where I look.
This is powerful stuff, folks. Freedom to try new things, be innovative in your life, and aim for your desires rather than simply avoid your fears. I hope you'll find a heuristic (or two) that leads you the same direction.
* From Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary, © 1986.
© 2004 Katja Amyx
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Copyright © 2004 Katja Amyx. All rights reserved.
