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Be Yourself
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When
what you have to offer seems out of place, yet turns out to
be exactly what's needed
One day my friend "Joanie" was having a crisis.
Why It's Important to "Be Yourself"
One day my friend "Joanie" was having a crisis so upsetting that she called me at work twice in the same day. The first time, the crisis had just happened. I listened. I advised. I got off the phone thinking I had done my part. She called again a few hours later and reviewed the story, adding in advice she had by then gotten from other people. So now we were processing the advice as well as the event itself. When I got off the phone that time, she seemed calm, and I thought the issue was handled for a while.
That evening when I got home, I was tired and I thought I'd relax by watching some TV. I chose to watch Touched by an Angel, because I know that at the end of the show one of the angels will say to one of the humans, "God loves you so much." It wasn't so much that the day had been particularly trying (for me); I just wanted to hear the words.
In that particular episode, a young girl is trying to convince herself that God exists. One of the angels sets himself up as the astronomer at the local planetarium. He talks to the girl about how the universe was created by telling her the watchmaker analogy (commonly credited to William Paley). He takes a watch out of his pocket and says, "Let's say you were walking through a field, and on a tree stump you came across this watch. How would you think it got there?"
The girl replies, "I'd figure someone walked by earlier and left it there."
"Really?" the angel says. "Why wouldn't you assume, for example, that it had just always been there?"
"Well, watches have to come from someplace," the girl tells him.
"Why not assume that the pieces all fell out of the sky and just happened to fall together in the form of a watch?"
"Watches don't just fall together, someone has to make them that way."
Several more interchanges follow, the angel suggesting ways the watch might have "just happened" and the girl saying, in essence, "someone has to put a watch together on purpose." Finally, placing the watch into the girl's palm, the angel says, "You can't see the watchmaker, but the evidence of his existence is in your hand."
At that moment, I had what I can only describe as a mystical experience. In a flash, I saw the beauty and perfection in my entire life. Certain events seemed to leap out at me, shouting, "God exists, and He loves you!"
I was stunned. Then I was grateful. Hugely grateful. For all those moments in my life when the complexity and the symmetry of creation shine through. For the TV show and all the people who made it possible. For that moment itself. Amongst all the gratitude, I wept.
Ten or fifteen minutes later, I had dried my eyes. The show was still on, and the telephone rang. It was Joanie, who was riled up again.
I was empty. I had no more advice to give; I wasn't interested in another round with Joanie's story. Yet, I did want to "be there" for her, so I was trying to listen. Then, she said what almost seemed like magic words to me, "So, what are you up to?"
I began to explain how I was watching Touched by an Angel, how I had purposely chosen to watch it so I could hear the words, "God loves you so much." I knew she didn't want to hear it. I could feel her click off like a light switch. She wasn't listening.
Yet, part of my faith is that each of us is unique because God needs us to be that way. Exactly what we are. Not who we think someone else wants us to be, but who we are. To offer exactly what we have to offer.
I felt silly sitting there describing a TV show over the phone, but it was what I had to offer at that moment, so I pressed on. At some point as I was telling the watch story, Joanie interrupted me, asking, "Wait, where did you read this?" That was the degree to which she didn't seem to be listening.
"I didn't read it," I replied, "it's on TV right now, 20 minutes ago. The show is still on."
A minute later, Joanie interrupted again to ask me where I'd heard it, and I repeated, "Just now. On Touched by an Angel. The show's not even over yet."
I finished the story and started describing my reaction. Seeing my whole life. Feeling gratitude.
Joanie interrupted once more, "Katja, I have the watch."
"What?" Now I wondered if perhaps I hadn't been listening so well. "What are you talking about?"
"I was out walking the dogs this afternoon," she began. "I usually take them around the outside edge of the park. But one of them has been sick, you know, so I cut back through the middle of the park to shorten the walk. Inside the park, there was a bench, and there was a watch sitting on it. So, basically, I was walking through a field and found a watch, just like in your story."
"Wow, Joanie," I said. "What are the odds?" I was stunned again. But I was also having that big gratitude feeling again. Like the roof lifted off my life and I could see the angels peering in to make sure I was OK in here. Anything could happen at any time, it seemed.
"I told you God loves you," I said quite humbly. Then I laughed, "What more evidence do you want?"
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Copyright © 2003 Katja Amyx. All rights reserved.
